i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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