All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
