Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
