so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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