My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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