2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
