I just threw up on my dentist
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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