went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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