If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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