At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
