Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
