she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
