So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
