Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
