I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Panties = found
Randomize
