I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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