so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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