: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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