Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
