can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
