Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It's Friday. Sex?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They took my balls.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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