He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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