problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
