Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
