we have pet lesbian snakes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
