Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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