So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
