come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
