The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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