@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
