is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
