Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
