Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
