dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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