Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
