come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
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I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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