you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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