PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
