he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
