remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Come on in and take your pants off
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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