Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
