You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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