He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
