Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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