is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
