come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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