I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
