Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
