Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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