so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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