I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
