My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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