it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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