I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
