When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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