I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
