brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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