Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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