You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
