The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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