so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
