Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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