Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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