check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
