I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
