She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Still dying that you shit outside
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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