Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
