He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Farmville is her only friend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
