she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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