I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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