yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
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WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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