The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I will be naked everywhere
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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