Your tits are I can't wait for
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
