You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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