yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
